Posted by: Monishikha | August 10, 2006

Speak your mind..or not

We have this monthly thing called a “Ladies Club” meeting.It’s peculiar to the “services” in that it’s not a “kitty party” but a get together for all the ladies (wives of officer’s posted to that organisation),something with a different theme every month.Generally,its rather much of the same old same old…but this month, we’re organising something called a “Husband’s Nite”,which is basically a gala party thrown for -obviously the husbands (and bachelors are invited too;)

Anyway,today I was just watching one of the dance practices ( I have two left feet when it comes to synchronised dance), and tapping along….when I made the mistake of actually giving an honest answer (I generally do) when asked for feed back by the lady who’s teaching that particular bit….I was quite categorically told that it was very easy to judge!True, but then what riled me was that why ask for feed back if you cant take it!

Which is what I was ranting about to my long suffering hubby, when he pointed out that most of the time we ask for “feed back” when we ‘re actually looking for praise….and that probably I would’ve also found it very difficult to put a smiley face on it if someone offered “constructive criticism” no matter how well intentioned the crtic was…It’s conversations like this that make me feel that my marriage is a lot about a wee bit of course correction every now and then…Maybe the next time someone asks me for an opinion and their life doesn’t depend on it, I might just keep the peace and say that Im not really qualified to comment,and then again maybe I might start a war;)



  1. is the meeting held separately for the officers n airmen’s wives? i wasnt sure if its afwwa meetings that u are talking about but yes, not many ppl have the appetite for honest feedback.. when they ask they secretly wish n expect for positive or praise words.. v immature..

    • Yes, it is, I was talking about the ladies club, Husband’s Nite to be more specific.
      About feedback , yes I agree, but in the few years since I wrote it, I’ve realised that
      when honest feedback is actually asked for, it’s better to say it in the softest possible way, and at
      other times when it is actually a pat on the back that the person is looking for, well , then a smile works best.
      The key is judging the situation accurately. 🙂

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